The greatest love of my life and how I lost.
Reflection on myself last couple months I have always loved political conversation. Lot of conversation about politics today. I have always been good about defending my point. It was part of the reason it interfered with or caused my ignoring Gai.
Would spend the evening on Facebook or news instead of seeing her. After she was fed up and pulling away. Our conversation about us and my trying to save it, I did not change my type of conversation. We had a problem. Conversation started but I was using debate and not compassion. I wanted to win. When this started. I was defending what I said. And I did say what I said. I would say well I never said that or this is what I said.
After I relized I was or had lost her. I was devastated. I stopped. My logic was not winning but losing. I had lost. The most important person in my life.
I went back to what she said and reread over and over again. I looked again at the time line. I had been so involved with the conversation about politics. I had let that become more important than her. I had not spent few minutes on politics but several months. She set alone. Hurting
I say this because it is a lesson in life. Sad lesson for me. In the past I would I think not use my debate skills. But my compassion. I would have not ignored the people I love. I thought it was only a few days at a time being away from her but weeks. . I had ignored and took her for granted.
I was so wrapped up with worry about the direction of our country I forgot about my personal life. I lost.
Do not make the same mistake. Life is short. Yes we need to be concerned about country and humanity. But do not lose your humanity to the ones that need you the most. She was hurting and I was not there. I had all the tools to take care of her. To give her peace comfort. Warmth of heart.
I am sorry Gai.